Monday, March 23, 2009

Swimming, my favourite hobby

Swimming is one of my favourite hobby. I was thrown to the swimming pool by my dad when I was young to learn swimming. My dad is so cruel? No, of coz he's not. I'm okay with it and now, I can swim though not like a pro. Although you can swim but please make sure there's water in the pool before you jump. Lolz - Laughing Out Loudz!


Thursday, March 19, 2009

Wanton Mee










Wish I can have a plate of “wanton mee” this afternoon. My dad once told me and my sister a joke about wanton mee. - LOLz - Laugh Out Loudz!

Cook : Sir, Can I help you?
Customer: Yes. What is the food that the girl is having over there?
Cook : “Wanton mee”, sir.
Customer : Ooo... How much is a plate of “wanton mee”?
Cook : RM4.00, sir.
Customer : Ooo... How much is the soup, then?
Cook : Ooo... Its free, sir.
Customer : Ic.. Please order me a bowl of soup. Thanks.
Cook : $#^&(*&^%$#$%^&*

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Wedding Cake

Wedding cake has becoming a must in Malaysia on wedding banquet. However, most of the restaurants and hotels in Malaysia prepare “dummy wedding cake” or even “fake wedding cake”. Some of the disadvantages of having a “dummy or fake wedding cake” that I can think of are such as:-

  • Very dusty (I don’t like it as I’m very sensitive to dust);
  • Can't put into our mouth (Friends and relatives might be waiting for the cake to be served); and
  • Cut by thousand of couples already (hehehe... okies, I exaggerated).

So I decided to have my personalised wedding cake on my wedding banquet. Last Friday, my friend and I met Su from “Delectable” to discuss my wedding cake. I’m so impressed with her design. She can make anything you can think of. She’s very creative. She’s nice. She’s... Please visit her website at "delectable" to know more about her and her cake. I was wondering if there’s any joke in relation to wedding cake after meeting her. Surprisingly, there are jokes in relation to cakes. LOLz – Laughing Out Loudz

Baker

There is a bakery shop down the road whereby the shop baker can make any cakes requested by her customers.

Customer A : Can you make a birthday cake for my husband, he's a dentist?
Baker : Sure!
This is how the cake looks like.










Customer B : Can you make a birthday cake for my wife, she's a doctor?
Baker : Sure!
Once again the shop baker agreed and produced a cake. This is how the cake looks like.









Another customer began to leave the shop. The baker managed stopped and asked "Can I help you?". The lady turned to the baker and said "no, I don't think so, my is a gynaecologist".

Birthday Cake Message

Andy went to a bakery to arrange a birthday cake for his wife's birthday party. The baker asked him what message he wanted to put on the cake. He think for a while and told the baker "Let’s put, (You are not getting older, you are getting better)". The baker asked “How do you wish me to arrange the message?” Andy said "Put (You are not getting older), at the top and (You are getting better) at the bottom. The fun didn’t kickoff until the cake was opened in the party and the message decorated on the cake:

“You are not getting older at the top; you are getting better at the bottom”.


Wedding Cake

The food that we put into our mouth can killed most of us. Red meat may increased the bowel cancer. Fast food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets caused obesity and even drinking water. None of us realizes the long- term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it.

Question : What food that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?

Answer : Wedding Cake!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Eww.. Constipation

I recently attended a talk conducted by Herbalife members. One of the testimonials that caught my attention is Herbalife helped to improve her constipation problem. Eww… Constipation! Don’t “eww..” before you read some jokes about constipation. LOLz - Laughing Out Loudz!

Terrible Constipation

A lady went to the doctor and complained that she had the most terrible constipation. The doctor examined her and then gave her a prescription for some tablets to be taken last thing at night. 2 weeks later the patient returned for a check-up and the doctor asked her how her constipation was. The doctor was rather surprised when the lady gloomily answered that the pills worked fine and that she went every morning at 8.00 am."So why the long face?" asked the doctor. "Because I don't get up until 8.30 am ! ! !" replied the patient.

Constipated

A man walks into his office and tells his best friend, mann... i'm constipated as hell, I think i'm gonna have to go to the hospital. His friend say’s ain’t that something you can buy from pharmacy like laxative? He say’s no man it’s to bad! So he goes to the hospital and the doctor say’s man you are full of shit, i'm gonna have to give you a suposatory! The man say’s what’s that? The doctor say’s it’s these pellets I have to stick up your ass. So the man say’s do what you gotta do doctor! So he has the man bend over the table and he shoves the suposatory up his ass. The man screams Oh! Shit! The doctor say’s take the rest of these and have your wife give them to you. So the man gets home and say’s, baby I need you to give me these suposatories. I’ll bend over and you stick one up my ass. So he bends over and she puts one hand on his shoulder and shoves it up his ass. He screams Oh! Shit! His wife say’s baby are you ok? He say’s, I just remembered the doctor had both hands on my shoulders!!!!!

Constipation

A man went to her doctor to see what could be done about his constipation.“It’s terrible,” he said, “I haven’t moved my bowels in a week.”“I see. Have you done anything about it?” asked the doctor.“Naturally,” he replied, “I sit in the bathroom for a half- hour in the morning and again at night.”“No,” the doctor said, “I mean do you take anything?”“Naturally,” he answered, “I take a magazine.”

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Power of the pencil

When was the last time I used a pencil to write? Back in my primary school, perhaps. Wow! that was 17 years back. I don't mean that I am no longer using a pencil. I do still use a pencil but just to do some drafting and sketching or probably as something to chew on while I'm thinking. Hahaha! Actually a pencil can do more than that. LOLz - Laughing Out Loudz!

Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through the class. One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.

'Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?’ When Mary Margaret didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear. 'God Almighty!' shouted Mary Margaret. The Nun said,'Very good’ and continued teaching her class.

A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, 'Who is our Lord and Savior?' But Mary didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt. 'Jesus Christ!!!' shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again said,'Very good,' and Mary Margaret fell back to sleep.

The Nun asked her a third question. 'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?' Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, 'If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'

The nun fainted !!

Monday, March 9, 2009

All about durian

My family and I went to Bentong, Pahang today just to enjoy the "smells like hell but taste's like heaven". Its yummy but expensive. We spent RM888 for two baskets of durians. Since its a durian season, I decided to upload some Durian Jokes. LOLz - Laughing Out Loudz!

Singaporean

Ah Beng was on a motorbike with Ah Lian after a durian shopping trip. Ah Lian was holding on to 2 big bags of durians when they rode over a hump, Ah Beng heard a loud bang. He asked Ah Lian: 'Lewlian wu kalau boh?(durians got dropped or not?).' Ah Lian shouted: 'boh kalau lah!', so Ah Beng continued with his journey. When they reached home, Ah Beng got down from his motobike and was shocked to see that Ah Lian was not wearing a helmet. He asked Ah Lian: 'Where is your helmet?' Ah Lian was very angry and replied: 'Just now I already told you 'boh kalau' (helmet drop)!'

Malaysian

Legend has it that George Washington, America's first president, chopped down a cherry tree in his youth. George gives the tree a good swing and chops it down with an axe . His father sees the damaged tree and asks his son if he knows who did the deed. George is quoted bravely admitting the truth :-

'I can't tell a lie, Pa; you know I can't tella lie. I did cut it with my axe.'

Pak Lxx - I did not cut down the tree, I was just taking a nap underneath it.

Nxjxb - I swear that I have never MET that tree.

Ahmxd Sxxd - I chopped it because cherry trees are more expensive to maintain than durian trees.


Chinese

A bowling ball, a coconut, and a durian all fall down and hit your head. Which one hurts the most? Answer: Your head!

Clip

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Everything has a price



Gosh! Pity the old lady but pretty funny though. LOLz - Laughing Out Loudz!

AirAsia may go this way soon

I personally think that AirAsia's ticket is still the cheapest but everything comes with a price tag. For now, they charge extra for almost everything i.e. food and beverages, luggage check-in, etc. As everything comes with a price tag. AirAsia may go this way soon....... charges a fee for using the seat belt, releasing the seat belt buckle, looking at the flight safety pamphlet and putting back the flight safely pamphlet quickly. LOLz - Laughing Out Loudz!